Transcending Myself:
The idea for this website came out of a talk I gave years ago to a group of university women. I was asked to speak specifically about my experiences as a woman of science and museums. Rather than give a talk that highlighted aspects of my resume I decided to share some of my life’s experiences and explain how they shaped my direction rather than just list my credentials.
I broke my life up into stages (and decades) and chose pivotal (serious and funny) stories with a focus on being female. Friends and family helped me chose the stories to tell.
I was totally unprepared for the strong emotional response I received back from my listeners. I only realized in retrospect how unique but also how universal my journey was to my mixed generational audience. People felt connections for very different reasons.
I call this a universally shared transcendence.
It is very powerful.
This process has reconnected me with family, friends and colleagues. I was surprised and grateful at how joyful, emotional and insightful this process has been. It gave me the strength to dream and understand myself better.
Some of the stories follow.
Childhood
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish
My family always celebrated Christmas Eve at my Grandma and Grandpa Diebel’s house in Oildale, CA. We had a potluck buffet that was followed by opening presents from my grandparents.
My most memorable Christmas Eve came when I was nine. For as long as I could remember my grandma would give both my sister and I a lovely doll. The problem was I did not like to play with dolls. But my parents said I needed to be polite and thank my grandma. Once in the car on the way home I would hand over the doll to my older sister Andrea who actually did love to play with dolls.
So by the time I was nine I had learned the routine: unwrap, say thank you, say something nice about the doll, leave in the car, give the doll to my sister Andrea. Imagine my surprise when I opened my present that year and it was a SCIENCE BOOK!!!! “The Mysteries and Marvels of our Animal World”. I still have that book! And as I am sure you have guessed I do not have any of the dolls.
Youth
Catholic schools – What’s a girl to do??
In 1970 I graduated from Garces Memorial High School in Bakersfield, CA. About one month before our formal graduation I was called into the principal’s office (Brother Daniel) to be told that I had won a tuition scholarship (based on test scores) that could be put towards a university in California. However, the principal had arranged with the university to give the scholarship to a boy in our class who had scored lower than me. His reason: a boy need to go to college more as they need to study for a ‘real’ career.
Adult
The College Years: . . . R E S P E C T:
I went to Humboldt State University at a time when there were only from 1-4 women in most science classes. My major was biology with a minor in oceanography. I had just started my second quarter lab class in invertebrate zoology. I happened to be the only woman in my lab section. After the first class was over the instructor asked to speak to me in his office. He asked me to please drop the class for a male student “who would have to support a family some day”. What did I do? I fess up to being a contrarian. I STAYED in that class and got the TOP grade.
Golden Years
A New Millinium: Who am I? Free to be you and me
I was fired for the second time in my life when I was 63. (The first was when I was a waitress in my 20’s and I hit a customer who pinched me on my butt when I was walking by with an armload of dirty plates).
This time wasn’t as easy to accept. I was fired by a man I did not respect and who was afraid of my knowledge and experience. It was devastating even though I had been quietly organizing my departure for months. It did not make the leaving ANY easier. I was completely unhinged. My pragmatic and confident self disappeared.
I soon found out I was not the only older woman that he had fired without any discussion (on the same day he also fired a well respected researcher who had worked at the museum for over 30 years). She too was caught by surprise and devasted.
I made the difficult decision to not accept any severance package that included a non-disclosure clause. He had a record of buying peoples silence. As a result I walked away with nothing. But, this means that if (and I think when) it happens again I can add support to the next staff person or woman he chooses to fire without cause. It has taken a year to ‘bounce back’ and I am still working on it.
I am more fragile, more open, more reflective and much, much more aware of my strengths and weaknesses. I tell my friends “I am rich in happiness though poor in money”. Humor has been restored to my life. It’s a fabulous time to be in my 60’s.